Hello my friends,
Golly, what a year. First I must apologise for my long absence from updating y'all as to my movements- as you'll see, it has been quite the year and for most of it I was so absorbed in self-preservation that I just didn't have the energy to reach beyond my own existence to write a little something here. I hope you'll forgive me!
The last time I wrote I was fully embroiled in a Russian winter- a winter which lasted right through to a blizzard in late May. As winter deepened, so did my sense that something wasn't right, and that my time in Russia was proving to be more destructive than the opposite. I won't unload all of that emotional baggage here (enough of you have already received that out-pouring on the phone or in person), but suffice to say that a tendency towards melancholy quickly spiralled into a deep depression that left me breathless and adrift. It seems so simple now, to simply leave- but at the time it took a difficult conversation with a dear friend in Australia to shock me into acting and admitting the misery I'd tried to keep repressed. Many alternate plans were considered and rejected- sticking in out in favour of the Masters qualification, moving in with some other expats to relieve the isolation of living in Russian 24/7... but ultimately I realised that the end wasn't worth the means and I needed to leave.
I took my time in doing so- my parents and aunty came to play for a summery month, and we had a great time exploring Moscow, St Petersburg, and some other little towns on the way. I enjoyed using my Russian daily but also had the relief of being able to talk with my family in English, though really what I enjoyed most was having my family with me as I slowly pulled myself from the slump. We laughed, braved overnight trains, alternately froze and boiled in the throes of a Russian summer (or lack thereof), ate far too much Georgian food and spent an awful lot of time in Russian churches. After they returned to the land down under, I spent another month exploring the Russian wilderness, heading into Siberia for a few weeks by the shores of Lake Baikal. I camped in the shade of forest, on the sandy shores of the lake, and let sunsets and sunrises pass me by as I swam, hiked, played the ukelele and read book after book. Siberia is so, so beautiful and vast and while I can't see my future self living in Russia again, I can certainly see her returning to further delve into the glorious Siberian landscape. See my photo journal from this time here.
I flew from central Siberia to Beijing, in China- returning to a country I had previously loved to study kung fu in the mountains for a few months. I've been wanting to try martial arts immersion for as long as I can remember, and with a few months before I wanted to return to Aus for my sister's wedding I had the perfect opportunity. What followed was 2 months of 6 hours a day training, double knee braces to deal with mountain running and everything shaolin being performed in a deep squat, very early nights and very early mornings. I met some fantastic people, learned so much and made it back to Australia the fittest I've ever been, and a long way along the path of undoing the chaos Russia caused internally.
What next? I'm going to spend the summer at home with my parents, working a bar job I've used to save for many overseas adventures in the past, enjoying the hot hot summer and the peace that pervades my family home. I'm looking forward to seeing friends and family for more than the usual once-every-other-year catch up and rebuilding relationships that have seen far more absence from me than is fair. I've also begun the process of applying for my Canadian working holiday visa- with some of my closest friends on that side of the world and a marriage between two of them looming in spring of 2018, I think the time has come for me to journey over and see the Americas for myself.
Until then-
Peace,
Lucy.
Golly, what a year. First I must apologise for my long absence from updating y'all as to my movements- as you'll see, it has been quite the year and for most of it I was so absorbed in self-preservation that I just didn't have the energy to reach beyond my own existence to write a little something here. I hope you'll forgive me!
The last time I wrote I was fully embroiled in a Russian winter- a winter which lasted right through to a blizzard in late May. As winter deepened, so did my sense that something wasn't right, and that my time in Russia was proving to be more destructive than the opposite. I won't unload all of that emotional baggage here (enough of you have already received that out-pouring on the phone or in person), but suffice to say that a tendency towards melancholy quickly spiralled into a deep depression that left me breathless and adrift. It seems so simple now, to simply leave- but at the time it took a difficult conversation with a dear friend in Australia to shock me into acting and admitting the misery I'd tried to keep repressed. Many alternate plans were considered and rejected- sticking in out in favour of the Masters qualification, moving in with some other expats to relieve the isolation of living in Russian 24/7... but ultimately I realised that the end wasn't worth the means and I needed to leave.
I took my time in doing so- my parents and aunty came to play for a summery month, and we had a great time exploring Moscow, St Petersburg, and some other little towns on the way. I enjoyed using my Russian daily but also had the relief of being able to talk with my family in English, though really what I enjoyed most was having my family with me as I slowly pulled myself from the slump. We laughed, braved overnight trains, alternately froze and boiled in the throes of a Russian summer (or lack thereof), ate far too much Georgian food and spent an awful lot of time in Russian churches. After they returned to the land down under, I spent another month exploring the Russian wilderness, heading into Siberia for a few weeks by the shores of Lake Baikal. I camped in the shade of forest, on the sandy shores of the lake, and let sunsets and sunrises pass me by as I swam, hiked, played the ukelele and read book after book. Siberia is so, so beautiful and vast and while I can't see my future self living in Russia again, I can certainly see her returning to further delve into the glorious Siberian landscape. See my photo journal from this time here.
I flew from central Siberia to Beijing, in China- returning to a country I had previously loved to study kung fu in the mountains for a few months. I've been wanting to try martial arts immersion for as long as I can remember, and with a few months before I wanted to return to Aus for my sister's wedding I had the perfect opportunity. What followed was 2 months of 6 hours a day training, double knee braces to deal with mountain running and everything shaolin being performed in a deep squat, very early nights and very early mornings. I met some fantastic people, learned so much and made it back to Australia the fittest I've ever been, and a long way along the path of undoing the chaos Russia caused internally.
What next? I'm going to spend the summer at home with my parents, working a bar job I've used to save for many overseas adventures in the past, enjoying the hot hot summer and the peace that pervades my family home. I'm looking forward to seeing friends and family for more than the usual once-every-other-year catch up and rebuilding relationships that have seen far more absence from me than is fair. I've also begun the process of applying for my Canadian working holiday visa- with some of my closest friends on that side of the world and a marriage between two of them looming in spring of 2018, I think the time has come for me to journey over and see the Americas for myself.
Until then-
Peace,
Lucy.
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